As I have written in previous posts, one of the most valuable lessons that parenting teaches me is flexibility. Personally, I struggle with control. Control of my environment, control of my emotions, control of my creativity and now that I am a mother, control of my child and HER environment, emotions and creativity. Oy vey!!
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Unschooling
As I have written in previous posts, one of the most valuable lessons that parenting teaches me is flexibility. Personally, I struggle with control. Control of my environment, control of my emotions, control of my creativity and now that I am a mother, control of my child and HER environment, emotions and creativity. Oy vey!!
Labels:
Momland,
new adventures,
Sunset Junction Mom,
unschooling
Thursday, January 16, 2014
La Luna And Dome Dreams
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Skylight of main dome of eco-dome | www.calearth.org |
Argh, la luna! You are magnificent and powerful and tonight, you are stealing my sleep. Occasionally, when I shift from Camille's bed to my own once she has drifted off, I am struck with relentless inspiration. In the quiet, my mind overflows with visions of clothes not yet stitched, rooms not yet decorated or foods not yet cooked. Our apartment is compact and efficient and I love it so much that I rarely fantasize about moving but tonight I am dreaming of the refuge of a small studio or sewing hut to quiet these thoughts and invite sleep. Since we have no such thing, I have revisited an old flame, a sometimes obsession...the earthbag home. Because what more an inspiring place to work than a hive shaped studio?
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Eco dome at dusk | www.calearth.org |
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Exterior of Eco Dome | www.calearth.org |
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Entry of Eco Dome | www.calearth.org |
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Eco Dome | www.calearth.org |
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Earth One South Exterior Detail | www.calearth.org |
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Inerior view of construction of main dome Eco Dome | www.calearth.org |
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Construction of Eco Dome | www.calearth.org |
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Construction with forms and compasses of Eco Dome | www.calearth.org |
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Earth One entry interior | www.calearth.org |
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Earth One view from kitchen | www.calearth.org |
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Earth One view of kitchen from dining space | www.calearth.org |
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Emergency shelter Eco Village plan | www.calearth.org |
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Visiting day; Rumi Dome - right, Eco Dome- left | www.calearth.org |
2013 Open House Dates | 2014 Open House Dates |
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January 5, 2013 February 2, 2013 March 2, 2013 April 6, 2013 May 4, 2013 June 1, 2013 July 6, 2013 *no open house in August* September 7, 2013 October 5, 2013 November 2, 2013 December 7, 2013 | January 4, 2014 February 1, 2014 March 1, 2014 April 5, 2014 May 3, 2014 June 7, 2014 July 5, 2014 *no open house in August* September 6, 2014 October 4, 2014 November 1, 2014 December 6, 2014 |
In the case of rain, Open House is postponed to the following Saturday |
*All images are from the CalEarth website.
oxo-n
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Anything I Can Do She Can Do Better
It was funny, the moment I realized that I had given birth to my spouse's best friend. I mean, we all need one so why not? But sometimes when Carl and Camille are off in "imaginative play" land, I can't help but feel like I am failing somehow. They are like peanut butter and jelly. Carl has endless hours of dolly diapering and lego building up her sleeves where I would rather work on a puzzle, go hiking or teach her to cook and sew. They crack each other up all the time and Camille is the apple of Carl's eye. It is cute and I wouldn't have it any other way but between loads of laundry I do get a pit in my stomach at the thought of losing my connection with my only child.
When we decided to take Camille out of preschool and teach her at home I thought "now this is my moment to shine!". I was always an enthusiastic student. My mom bought me a learning program when I was three and it was my favorite toy. I loved the grease pencils and the cellophane overlay, the dotted letters and numbers to trace and then the blank lines that followed them to show off my newly acquired talents. Surely, this was a place that I could wedge myself in and show Camille that I have more to offer than beverages and snacks at the appropriate time and a clean house in which to creatively display her various projects.
The first few days were a little challenging but still fun. Realizing that the lessons are planned in five to ten minute intervals to keep the little wanderer's attention was interesting. I loved seeing how much she already knew and watching her face light up when she discovered something new. In my reverie, I envisioned an idyllic experience from which I could draw on for many a inspired blog post. I would become that Waldorfian educator. Ushering Camille into a new way of being: creative, calm and extremely intelligent. My utopia was destroyed the first day Carl was home while school was in session. She offered to teach so I could work on some sewing. I took her up on it because I figured I really need to get this clothing business off the ground even if it only happens in three hour snatches.
As with everything Carl puts her mind to, she was a huge success. From my work table, I heard them laughing together and Camille responding to the lessons without a lot of cajoling. It is her way. That is the only way to describe it. Carl has a way. She is quiet and attentive. She has no agenda. She is non-confrontational and easy. Let's face it, that is what an energetic kid is going to respond to. At that moment I realized that we all have our role to play. Mine is to keep things on a schedule and organized which is valuable too. I am still going to be the main teacher at Lucile Preschool but at this school, the substitute teacher is more fun. I'm okay with that as long as she knows that I love her with all of my heart and soul even if I am a little boring!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Your Pretty Is Her Handsome
When Carley and I were talking about having a baby, our number one wish is that our child would be an individual. Someone who freely marched to the beat of her own drum. The universe heard our intention and obliged, giving us a perfectly unique and amazing daughter who, at the age of four, completely knows herself. This is not her first rodeo and with every passing day we see that she intends to make each moment count. She is as quirky and full of personality as we could have ever wished and we delight in her eccentricities.
The biggest bonus to being a girl raised by a butch/femme couple is that all the options are on the table every day. You want to be a ballerina in a pink tutu, be our guest. You want to play with Tonka trucks in the dirt, go for it. Because we do not censor her sartorial choices or guide her into traditional "girl" activities and pursuits, she has been able to pick and choose how she wants to present herself without the knowledge, let alone concern, that she is not subscribing to the correct gender role.
This is serious people...no snickering in the back please! More and more parents are realizing the damaging effects of forcing children gender stereotypes defined by society. Parenting books line the bookstore shelves describing how to maintain a gender neutral framework in which a child can thrive and grow into the person they are meant to be. Research shows that boys suffer as a result of having their emotional lives extinguished. Boys tend to act out aggressively instead of expressing their feelings in a positive way. Many studies have shown that much of boys' apparent lack in social and emotional intelligence is due to environmental influence, to stereotypes about how boys should be raised, and to peer pressure. By telling your son that dolls are only for girls, are you making an indelible impression on him that only women care for babies? By not allowing him to try on the pink wellies in the department store, are you sending him the message that the clothing that he gravitates towards is shameful?
The same dangerous gender stereotypes exist for girls. Sunglasses are required in order to step inside most toy stores as the blinding pink and purple packaging are an arrest to the senses. I won't go into the offensiveness of Barbie and Bratz products as that has been done for a decade and seems rather obvious. Blah, blah, blah, launch into feminist rhetoric? No, not really. I will just summarize by saying that most of us already know that stereotypes laid out for girls and women have been damaging to our self esteems. Notions that we must only reach as high as to grab the all purpose flour from the shelf dashed many of our grandmothers' ambitions to be a business executive. Barbie and her impossible silhouette made us all squint into the mirror and then quickly look away. The princess phenomenon has a generation of girls waiting in anxious anticipation for their handsome prince to bring the sunshine and sort out all of life's problems. The reality is, women wear pants now, have the right to vote, run hugely successful businesses and are professional athletes. Generation by generation, we are proving that anything you can do, I can do better. Then why does the term "tomboy" still exist? Why all this fuss when a girl prefers to describe herself as handsome rather than pretty?
At a family gathering recently Camille was wearing a particularly dandy outfit which included a pair of Dickensian knickers, a velvet sport coat, button-up shirt and a bow tie with rockets and planets. She was so thrilled to show off her special outfit and went around to to everyone exclaiming that she was so handsome. Most of the family members smiled and hugged her warmly but one guy told her sternly "girls are not handsome, they are pretty". My heart raced as our eyes met after he uttered the last word...pretty. Luckily the comment went over Camille's head and she ran off to find her favorite cousin. I opted to take the diplomatic door and not make a scene but that moment created a firestorm of emotion. Come to find out, the family is deeply concerned that Camille is being raised with a confused notion that she has the option to wear ties and call herself handsome. It appears that we should make her feel that her choices are shameful and not appropriate for someone born as a girl. Can someone please send a letter to Diane Keaton and let her know that ties are not to be worn by women?! While you're at it, please notify Merriam-Webster that their definition of handsome as "pleasing to look at" should be changed to "a man who is pleasing to look at".
This idea that we are committing child abuse by allowing our child to express herself through her language, clothing and interests is disturbing and hurtful to say the least. As parents, we are here to create an environment where our child feels confident to be herself. The confidence that she learns and exercises now will get her through life's struggles and empower her to defend herself against people who try and antagonize her in the future. We refuse to create an atmosphere of shame and ridiculous, stereotypical boundaries for her. We have adopted a new mantra - don't like it, don't look. Our happy, well adjusted kid does not need gender stereotypes!
oxo-n
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Our One Room Schoolhouse
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I started researching preschool curriculum out there and really stumbled on a goldmine for those of us who are of this planet and not super heroes. The program is called Mother Goose Time and is an all inclusive preschool package that comes in a school bus box each month. The idea is brilliant! Every day is laid out for you with reading, math, science, social skills and art included in daily bags.
The whole concept really takes the worry out of homeschooling little ones. It's not that I am unwilling to put in extra work researching lessons and projects but the reality is, after "school" all day, preparing meals and maintaining the house...WHERE'S THE TIME? This program is a Godsend and with interesting themes and adorable illustrations, it was a no brainer for me.
Our January box finally arrived and I was just as pleased as I thought I would be. I set about building a school room in our dining nook in the kitchen with all of the posters and projects included in the box. This thing was loaded with good stuff! So much so, that I had to kind of pull back a little since it still has to function as a family space once the school bell rings. Camille took to the idea right away and started inventing her own projects with the scraps that lay about. Anything could happen, but my crystal ball is telling me that this is going to be a very fun and fulfilling seven months for all of us!
oxo-n
Saturday, December 14, 2013
We're Back With New Adventures!
Years fly by here in Momland. Camille has sprouted several inches, put on a few pounds and added 200 or more necessary and sometimes amusing words to her vocabulary. She is more quirky and hilarious with every passing day.
She just finished her first year of what we loosely refer to as preschool and sadly, we have not been too impressed with the results so we decided to save some money and try our hands at home school...yes, you read right, HOME SCHOOL! I never thought I would have considered it but we are in desperate need of a little reprogramming with love and kindness before she joins the real world of public school. So off we go! I am planning to capture the highs and lows of this journey, if I can fit it in between sewing for my new business and teaching the future president of America how to read.
oxo-n
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sound of Silence
Little frog, only about an inch long!! There were tons of them hopping all over the creek bed. |
Eyeing the tiny pine cones and contemplating eating them? |
We came home loaded down with souvenirs from our adventure...acorns of all shapes and sizes (they
make a great tea set as Ms. Cam discovered), itty bitty pine cones and bits of white granite. But the best souvenir of all was the Zen-like calm my little terror had for the rest of the day. Thank you Mother Nature!
Did I say Zen? Maybe I meant Zombie! |
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